


Living In a Shadow

by silver_drip



Category: Iron Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-19
Updated: 2015-04-19
Packaged: 2018-03-24 19:38:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3781939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silver_drip/pseuds/silver_drip
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki and Tony get into an argument.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Living In a Shadow

**Author's Note:**

> It's that time of the year again. Exams = stress writing.

* * *

Loki appeared in bloodstained battle armor, humming happily. At first he didn’t notice his lover sitting in the corner of the room, his head in his hands. Loki was used to him being at SHIELD HQ after one of their battles, debriefing with the rest of his team.

“You have to stop,” Tony whispered, causing Loki to flinch. He quickly shifted his armor into the far less intimidating clothing he usually wore while in the tower.

“Anthony, you’re home early,” Loki said, covering up his surprise. He performed a spell and two glasses of whiskey appeared, one in his hand and the other on the table beside Tony.

“You almost killed Tasha.” Tony still hadn’t lifted his head.

“An unfortunate mistake. She should not have tried to attack me from behind.” Loki brushed aside the matter entirely, sipping at his drink as he walked over to Tony.

“And all those agents?”

“They shouldn’t have gotten in between Thor and me.” Loki magicked up a chair, sitting directly in front of Tony. He propped his barefeet up on Tony’s armrest only to have them shoved aside as Tony abruptly stood up, once again startling the god.

“Stop it,” Tony said in a cold voice as he walked across the room. Loki felt a twinge of worry break through his post-battle haze. He pursed his lips before setting aside his drink and following his lover over to the windows. Loki gazed at the New York skyline, going over their conversation again.

“I’m sorry for hurting your—”

“No, you’re not,” Tony said, interrupting Loki’s attempt at smoothing everything over.

“You’re right. I’m sorry for lying.” Loki tried to sneak in a kiss, but Tony turned away from him, making Loki frown and glance out the window again. “I did not mean to hurt her. I only wish to harm Thor for—”

“Stop it, Loki.” The god was thrown off balance by the use of his actual name. Tony only used playful nicknames, even in bed. Loki was suddenly struck by how serious the situation was compared to their usual tiffs.

“I told you, I didn’t mean to hurt her,” Loki tried again, reaching for Tony, only to have him violently flinch away. Loki’s hand fell to his side, feeling almost numb.

“You have to stop these attacks. I can’t stand it anymore.” He still wasn’t looking at the god and Loki found it disturbing beyond belief. He was used to his lover being vibrant and confrontational, not reserved and almost submissive looking.

“Surely you can’t mean my battles with Thor,” Loki purred. Tony cringed and Loki bit his tongue. Evidently the seduction route was not the best method.

“That’s exactly what I mean. No more attacking New York. No more hurting my friends. No more trying to kill Thor.” There was something in Tony’s voice that scared the god, but Loki refused to back down.

“You knew what you were getting into when we started this relationship. You honestly can’t expect me to change now.” Loki scoffed while putting a bit of distance between them. His lover was too good at reading him. He needed the shield of space to hide his smaller expressions.

“I can’t take it. I’m always so scared when you attack, but I never know which side to worry about. Should I worry about my friends and comrades whom I’m fighting alongside or should I be afraid for the first person I’ve ever truly loved. I’ve seen you thrown through buildings. _I’ve_ been forced to shoot you point blank. I’m tired of all this.” Tony still wasn’t looking at him, making worry gnaw at Loki’s gut.

“Nothing has changed pertaining to my habits so something must have changed for you,” Loki said, trying to steer the conversation away from this dangerous matter.

“Nothing changed. I’m just worn out. I’m done.” Tony brushed by Loki, not looking at him before taking his seat again. He quickly drank his whiskey in two gulps before staring at the empty glass.

Loki felt something inside himself falter and rupture.

“Anthony—”

“No, Loki.” The finality in his voice made desperation claw at Loki’s throat. “I’m done with your childish squabble with Thor. Get over it or let me go.” Loki felt his desperation suddenly shift to blazing anger.

“Childish squabble?” Loki hissed from between clenched teeth. Tony set down his glass loudly and looked up at Loki.

“You heard me.”

“You think what transpires between Thor and I is some ‘childish squabble’?” Spark of energy flared from Loki’s fingers, but Tony didn’t back down.

“You’re just two brothers fighting over who daddy loved more and I’m sick of it, sick of seeing you break my city, hurting my friends, and coming home to see you injured. I’m sick of it all.” Tony’s voice wavered towards the end, but Loki didn’t hear it over his building rage.

“I thought you understood. Clearly I was mistaken.” Loki unclenched his fists. “You simply do not understand this matter in the least,” Loki said, trying to placate himself. “It’s no fault of your own, merely poor communication on my part.” Loki took the seat across from his lover. “Anthony, my dearest Anthony.” Loki reached out tentatively and when Tony didn’t swat him away Loki took his hand, cupping it gently. Tony narrowed his eyes in suspicion. “I do not merely fight Thor because the All-Father unfairly favored him for thousands of years while simultaneously scorning my every action. If only it was that simple.” Loki chuckled lightly while patting Tony’s hand. When he saw the other male was unaffected he continued on. “You see, as we grew up Thor was constantly degrading me and caused others to degrade me as well.”

“All I’m hearing is childish squabbling,” Tony said, his voice emotionless. Loki did his best not to squeeze Tony’s hand in annoyance. Instead, he just petted it once and smiled, reminding himself that it wasn’t Tony’s fault that he didn’t understand.

“As I was saying, Asgard treated us very differently. Worse than that Thor treated me like an inferior, like I was less than him simply because I preferred magic over brute strength.” Loki felt his never ending anger burning hotter just at the thought of all he went through. “It may be difficult to understand, but I was forced to live in his shadow.”

Tony abruptly yanked his hand free of Loki’s, startling the god.

“You think I don’t know what it feels like to live in a shadow?” Tony laughed humorlessly and Loki scowled.

“If this is about your father, that hardly counts—”

“No, this isn’t about my asshole of a dad. I got over that a long time ago.” Tony shook his head, rage darkening his brown eyes. “You’re a fucking idiot if you think I don’t know what it feels like to live in a shadow. I feel that darkness every time we lay in bed and I know you’re scheming, every time you choose to attack New York instead of watching a movie with me, every time you choose Thor over me I feel it! Now I’m the one forced to live in Thor’s shadow just because you can’t put your past behind you! I’m tired of it, Loki!”

The god sat frozen as a stray tear escaped Tony’s eyes. He gaped for a moment, speechless.

“Anthony, I…” Loki gulped around the lump in his throat, not knowing what to say. “I love you more than anything in all the realms.”

“Yeah, so you’ve said, but your hatred for Thor eclipses that.” Tony crossed his arms, sniffling while looking away from Loki.

“Is that truly how you feel?” Loki asked, his voice subdued. Tony nodded stiffly. “Then I’m sorry for making you feel that way.” Loki leaned back and forth, rocking himself as he looked at Tony. “I never meant to make you feel like you were living in his shadow. I’ll… I’ll give it up, give up fighting Thor. Just please look at me.”

Tony turned his head towards Loki, his brown eyes shining with tears. Loki held back a flinch. He hated seeing his lover in pain, especially in pain he had caused.

“Really?” Tony asked, desperation filling his voice and breaking Loki’s heart.

“Really,” Loki confirmed before pulling Tony into a hug. “You never have to live in a shadow again.” Loki kissed Tony on the cheek and felt him relax in his arms. “Neither of us ever will again.”

 


End file.
